How to Stay Awake in Church

Yesterday, I shared with you an excerpt from the “Presbyterian Handbook.” This book has everything you’ve ever wanted to know about being Presbyterian in a short, often humorous format. Much of it applies to Christian faith across the board. There’s even a really funny section about “how to stay awake in church.” Let me share with you the top six:

Number one: Get adequate sleep. Late Saturday nights are Sunday morning’s worst enemy. Resolve to turn in earlier.

Number two: Arrive early and find the coffee pot.

Number three: Focus on your posture. Sit up straight with your feet planted firmly on the floor. Avoid slouching as this encourages sleepiness. 

Number four: Drink plenty of water, though not too much. It is easier to remain alert when you are well-hydrated… One quick bathroom break is considered permissible. Two or more are bad form.

Number five: Stay alert by flexing muscle groups in a pattern. Clench toes and feet; flex calf muscles, thighs, glutei, abdomen, hands, arms, chest, and shoulders. Repeat. Avoid shaking, rocking, or other movements that attract undue attention.

And, number six: If all else fails consider pinching yourself! Try not to cry out.

It does happen, doesn’t it? Did you know that in the book of Acts, once when Paul was preaching, a member of his congregation fell asleep and tumbled out of a second-story window? Paul goes down to heal him, then he goes right on preaching!

I hope that list brought a smile to your face. I also hope that worship in your church is vibrant and alive and that you arrive expecting to encounter the presence of the living God. I do know that when we show up fully alert and present, God is glorified and we are more likely to be fed.

Let us pray: Gracious God, Most of us have had moments when we’ve struggled to engage in worship. Sometimes our minds wander and our bodies get restless. But we trust that you know our hearts. We want to honor you. We want to show our love and gratitude. We want to hear from you, and we want to be healthy and whole. 

I pray that this week, you would prepare us to meet you in worship. May we notice your presence in the songs we sing, in the words that are spoken and unspoken, in the beauty of the sanctuary, and in the people we meet. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.