Act as if…

Pastor and Newspaper columnist George Crane tells a story of a woman who came into his office ready to divorce her husband. “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.”

Dr. Crane came up with a plan “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.” Seething with revenge, she responded, “Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!” And she did so with enthusiasm. Acting “as if.” For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, and sharing. 

After a while, Dr. Crane noticed that she was not returning. So he called and asked her, “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?” She replied, “Dr. Crane, over these last two months, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve discovered I really do love him.” 

Apparently, her actions had completely changed her feelings. 

Years ago, when I served at another church, our Lead Pastor used to encourage people who were struggling in their faith to “act as if.” She would say, “Act as if the faith were there. Show up at worship. Show up and participate in mission events. Pray when you can. And your faith will come around.”  

Pastor and Theologian William Sloan Coffin, Jr, echoed these beliefs. He wrote: “It is terribly important to realize that the leap of faith is not so much a leap of thought as of action. For while in many matters, it is first we must see, then we will act. In matters of faith, it is first we must do, then we will know, first we will be and then we will see. One must, in short, dare to act wholeheartedly without absolute certainty.” 

Prayer: Loving God, in our relationship with you and with others, help us to live into our ideals – even in those moments when we don’t have the strength or the will. Grant us your courage and grace so that we might be bearers of your light and your love. Amen.